Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy. ------Michelle Pfeiffer
I have been a mom of four for just over two months now, and I must say its a hell of a ride. On one hand I can't believe its been two months already and on the other hand I can't believe its only been two months. We have been through a lot over the last two months. The good news is that we are all healthy and happy--although happy is a relative term--more accurately I would describe us as stressed, but surviving. Thanks to all of our amazing friends and family for your support. We love you.
I have been reflecting a lot this week on my experience as a mother. I have been looking back to when I first became a mom in 2006. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would one day have four children. I never dreamed I would be so blessed. I am one lucky momma and I am grateful every day for my family.
Looking back, I am reminded of how far I have come and all the things I have learned along the way. I am reminded of the good advice I heard, the bad advice I heard, the advice that was great but not practical. I would like to share my own advice, and give you my opinion on the most popular advice you are bound to either read or hear if you are a new mom or about to become one.
Lets start with one of the most popular baby topics: Sleep--yours and your baby's. You are bound to read in virtually every baby book and advice blog you can get your hands to "Sleep when your baby sleeps".
This is good advice. Really, really good advice.
Problem is, its not really practical. If this is your first baby, then you may actually heed this advice for the first couple of weeks--assuming you have one of those amazing babies who actually sleeps. After the first couple of weeks, you will probably use your baby's nap time to get stuff done around the house, like dishes or dinner (more on that in future blog posts). Or you will use the time to feed yourself. I firmly believe that anyone who says "sleep when the baby sleeps" has not been around a baby in a very long time. They don't realize that new moms are almost always choosing between food and sleep--both desperately needed and in short supply. So please, if you know a new mom and you are going to visit or to help, bring her a snack and a meal to feed the family for supper. That way you can hopefully hold the baby while she naps. And new moms, don't be to proud to turn down food. Accept any and all offers. You will sleep better if you are not hungry even if you don't get to sleep for very long. Sometimes its about quality, not quantity.
If you have other children, then sleeping when your baby sleeps is next to impossible, unless your kids are young enough and you can get them to nap at the same time. If this is you then you should be writing this blog because you are a super star. For the rest of us, if we are lucky enough to get the baby to sleep, then we are too busy taking care of our older children to sleep ourselves.
So what is an exhausted parent to do? Take heart dear friends, there is hope.
It is possible to get some sleep with older ones running around. You have to first change your expectations. You probably won't get a long uninterrupted nap, and you have still have some awareness of whats going on around you. But remember, its about quality, not quantity. A restful cat nap can be just the pick me up you need. Start with making the environment safer for sleeping. Its always a good idea to make sure your door is locked and your child cannot open it. Also make sure the phone is out of your child's reach or you may find yourself fielding a call to China. Baby gates are also great. Once you have made the environment relatively safe you are ready for that much deserved cat nap. Here are my favorite ways to cat nap with your older ones:
The easiest thing to do is put on a movie for your older one and nap during the movie. Have a little one that won't sit still or bugs you every few minutes? Try snuggling with your child. Sit in a big comfy chair with your child in front of you and your arms around them. Since you both face the TV hopefully your child won't notice you have dozed off. Or throw a pillow/blanket/mat on the floor and use blankets to make a fort over it. You and your child pretend that you are camping and outside your tent are wild animals so you need to stay in the tent (watch the movie from the opening of the tent). Or use the couch as a boat and pretend the floor is a shark infested ocean (hence you two have to stay on the couch and watch the movie).
Another one of my favorite games to play with my children when I am too tired to get up is gas station/grocery store. This game works well outside too. You sit in a comfy chair (or recline in a lawn chair) and pretend to be the gas station attendant. Your child either runs around (driving a pretend car) or if you have a ride on toy in the house then so much the better. When you are outside, your child can use his or her bike or any ride on toy, or drive the pretend car. Your child comes to you to fill whatever vehicle you are using with gas. Have them pay you for the gas. You can use monopoly money to teach them about counting and making change etc. If you don't have monopoly money then just pretend. Have fun making up the price of gas (See if your child can count out twenty thousand dollars..If you live where I live then you know that price for gas is not far off...) Then they drive away and come back for another fill up and so on. You get rest while your child does laps around you.
Grocery store is very similar. Take any pretend groceries you have and put them somewhere away from you. Give your child a grocery list and ask them to get items for you. If you are really creative, you can have your child make the list by drawing or writing items to get at the "grocery store". Note that you are not the grocery store. You want your child to go to the store by themselves and pick up the items and bring them back to you like a delivery person. . Keep your child going for the groceries as often as possible. If you are using a ride on toy, have the child load and unload the groceries. Or give them a shopping bag or a shopping cart to push.You don't even have to have plastic groceries to do this, you can just use your imagination and pretend--Say to your child " Please bring me some milk, eggs and butter." See if your child can go to the pretend store come back and remember the items you asked for. Then pay your child and ask for three more items. You have just engaged your child's memory and taught them about money and counting. Who knew you were working so hard? Plus you can rest your eyes while your child goes to the pretend store ( The further the store is away from you, the better). You should at least be able to get in a cup of tea or coffee during this game. This also works to occupy your older one while you are trying to feed the baby.
Finally, one of my favorite games. This one is fairly new, we just came up with it during my pregnancy when I really could not get off the couch. We call this game "Hospital". It is very simple. You are the patient, you child is the nurse or doctor. At my house my children usually pretend they are a nurse, because " The doctor doesn't do anything" (Ahh they make their nurse mommy so proud.) First, make a bed for the patient. You can use the couch, your bed or any comfortable surface. Once the bed is made, the patient lies down. If you have a toy doctors kit your child can use it to examine you. If you don't have one, no worries, you can use a spoon as a light to check eyes, old head phones as a stethoscope, and a pencil for a syringe and needle. After your child has given you an exam, its time for the patient to rest. Your child can cover you with the blanket and make sure you have peace and quiet. If you are really good at this game, you can get your child to rub your feet or back and you can get a ten minute cat nap.
So there you have it, the "Lazy parent's guide to playing with children" I hope you found it helpful. Admittedly these games loose their appeal if you do them to often, but they can be a real life saver for those days when you can barely keep your eyes open. With a little luck your children will have so much fun doing these games that they won't even notice you are way to tired for the park or anything else that can't be done while sitting in the chair. Now if only dinner would make itself....
What games do you play with your children? How do you cope on those days when just getting dressed takes too much energy? Any tips/ideas to share?
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