If Only I had known then...

As  I sit here listening to my children crying and calling "Mommy"  I am fighting the urge to do two things. My first instinct is go up there, find out what is wrong and fix it so they can go to sleep (They have been in bed crying now for about an hour). But that would just teach them that crying and persistence pays off.  My second instinct is to go up there, scream at the top of my lungs and give them the mother of all spankings, but then I would just have to listen to more crying (and probably louder).  So I will sit here writing this and ignoring the cries as all good moms do.  I am reminded of a piece I wrote on Jeff's blog when Jonas was 11 months old, and I figured I would repost it, because it still applies whether you have one child or three.  This is for all my first time mom friends (the things your friends never told you) and all my experienced mom friends..remember when we thought we knew what we were doing?  Don't you wish someone would have told you?  Enjoy!!
 I would like to share with you the top 10 things I wish someone had told me about having a baby (in no
particular order):

1. Your hips stay that size--yep, your hip hugger jeans will be a long time fitting again...Now I know why moms wear mom jeans

2. Having a baby makes you hate your husband--I don't know if its hormones, but one day you look at him and think--Wow! how could I marry someone like him (Don't worry though, it passes--eventually. Right, Jeff honey :) )

3. Your stomach will look like a 3D road map-complete with canyons and rivers

4. Your normally wonderful parents turn into grandparents!!--Ok I knew that one, but still I was not prepared for such wisdom as "Your baby cant tell you when hes cold" and "I used to worry about you and the baby but then I realized your are not a complete idiot and probably won't screw up too much"--Love you too, mom

5. Fundal Massage is not nearly as fun as it sounds

6. Your biggest joy will be when your baby stops pooing green

7. You will proudly wear baby vomit/urine/feeces as though they were the latest acessory--Lets see Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian  top that!

8. You will never have sex again--see points 2 and 3

9. Sleep is for idiots

10. When the sun finally shines again, you will shut the blinds and go to sleep.


My love and praise to all the Mommies out there!! As a wise friend once said, Mommies are the best!