Off We Go!!!!

We're off!! .......Like a heard of turtles.

That's what my mom used to say whenever we would go anywhere.  Back then I would roll my eyes and wonder why my mom was so annoyed.  Why was she so grouchy going on vacation?  Didn't she want to go?  Why was she yelling at us?

Now I know..and I'm so sorry, mom.

We are about to embark on a two week trip to southern Ontario.  Its nothing we haven't done before. We travel south many times a year. However, each trip brings its share of arguing, frustration and exhaustion.  Every trip we swear is the last one. We swear we are going to do things differently.

We always decide to do it again. And we always do the same things...

About a month before the trip:

Argue about whether or not we should go on the trip in the first place.  Do we have enough reason to go? We just took a trip- should we take another one?  Can we take our son out of school for that long?

Once we have decided that we are going, we move on:

Argue about calling the trip a "vacation."  As far as I am concerned, anytime I leave my house, housework and cooking is a vacation.  My husband doesn't take vacations.  As he points out, it is a lot more work to look after the kids in a hotel then it is at home  (That's because I do it most of the time at home...) He also feels he has a very strong work ethic so he is very quick to point out that our trips are "working vacations".  He is doing work on the road (and it is harder to work on the road then it is at home..)

Next, we argue about telling our families about the trip.  For some reason, our parents raise an eyebrow whenever we embark on a trip.  They make subtle comments about how tired we will be, how expensive it is--they question our every move.  I know its because they know how tiring and stressful it can be to travel with little ones. Ironically, our parents don't come to visit us often up here because "Its too far to travel".

So by this point in the process, our parents have been notified, eye brows raised and the trip rationalized.  Now its on to the next phase:

Not speak about the trip again until about a week or so before the trip.  Then it is time to:

Book the hotel.  Find out the first hotel is full. Scramble to find a plan B.  Message our friends (who are actually happy we are coming) and try to make plans with them.  Try to come up with an itinerary for the trip.  Feel guilty that we did not give our friends enough notice that we are coming.

Talk/Argue about what needs to be done before we leave. Things like cleaning the fridge, cleaning the house, getting oil changes, cleaning the van, kids haircuts, picking up odds and ends..etc.  Not write anything down, or assign a person to take responsibility for each task, which leads us to..

Fight about who does more for the trip.  Not speak for three days. Realize we forgot to book the dog for boarding and ask the neighbor to feed the cat.  Pray the vet has room to board the dog. Realize we also forgot to notify the school.  Fight about who is going to do that.  (Neither one of us actually does it)

Now the trip is 3-4 days away.  Getting down to the wire....

Fight and try to come up with an organized way to accomplish all that needs to be done.  Convince husband to take kids for eight hours so I can clean and organize. Then feel overwhelmed at all that should be done and take a nap for five hours.  Start the cleaning 20 min before extremely frazzled husband and tired hyper children return home.  Yell at entire family for being in my way and not letting me get my work done.

Next day, give up and do nothing. Think about doing trip stuff, continue making plans with friends. Take kids for hair cuts, soccer games, doctor's appts, etc.  Decide coming back to a dirty house is not the end of the world.  Yell at husband for firing the cleaning service.  Make husband do all the laundry...

Two days before the trip:

Decide when we want to leave on departure day--agree to be on the road early, like 7 or 8 am.  Realize that means being in bed by 9 or 10 the night before departure day.  That means having all the work done by 5pm the day before departure day. Agree that is what we will do.

Blog about all the work we have to do.  Still don't actually do any work. Decide that if I start at 6 am the next day, I can get it all done in time.

Day before departure day:

Get up at 8am. Have coffee, breakfast and dawdle. Start work at 11 am.  Realize as I clean one thing there are fifty more things that need cleaning.  Feel frustrated and overwhelmed.  Take a break (from the 30min of work I have done) Curse myself for pulling my three year old out of daycare.  Curse husband again for firing the cleaning service.

Night before departure:

8pm: Start packing.  Takes about 3 hours.  Curse because the clothes I wanted to bring for the kids are dirty.  11pm:  Curse myself for always leaving it to the last minute.  Start loading the van. 2am: Go to bed.

Departure day:

Turn alarm off at 5am.  Decide that leaving at 7am is too ambitious. Sleep until 8am.  Argue about why we didn't start earlier preparing for the trip. Finish loading the van.  Make a million trips to the bathroom.  Make sure we can see the cat.

Give key to the neighbors.  Load children and dog into van. Drop dog off at vet.

Stop at Tim Horton's--what is a road trip without timmies? Put movie on for kids.

10am: Actually leave our city for Southern Ontario--only three hours after we wanted to leave.

Approx 8-12 hours later:  Arrive at our destination. Have a well meaning family member say "Gee you look tired." Wonder why?

Remind me again why trips are fun?

See you soon!!