I am baaaack...again. For those of you who have followed me from the beginning, you know that I am awesome at starting things (See my other blog, Fifty Shades of Awesome, my clean eating plan, my exercise plan....). I am not awesome at sticking with them.
I cannot believe we are in to the Christmas season already. Well, actually I can believe it because where I live its minus 25 in the mornings (without the windchill). This year we were smart and put the decorations up outside before it turned cold. Of course they are not on because none of us wants to go out to plug them in, but that's another story. My decorations are up, most of my shopping is done, I still have baking to do and of course the never ending wrapping. All and all not bad.
Christmas always was my favourite time of year. I love lights, I love to shop, I love Christmas music, I love to decorate, I love hot chocolate, gingerbread and Chinese food (don't ask). In short I love all things Christmas.
Or at least I did before I had kids.
When I was growing up, Christmas was amazing. I could never figure out though why my mom was so grouchy about it. "Bah Humbug" was a phrase I heard a lot as a kid, and not because we liked the movie. Yet despite all the grumblings, Christmas was always wonderful. Thanks Mom.
When I moved out on my own, my love for Christmas grew. I could not wait to have kids of my own to share the season with. I swore I would never hate Christmas like my parents did.
Well my friends, now I have kids and I hate Christmas.
Why, you ask? Let me enlighten you:
My Vision:
My kids and I snuggled up on the couch under a warm blanket watching Christmas cartoons/movies together.
Reality:
Older child crying because he wants to watch Octonauts, Younger child pouting because older child took her spot and her blankie on the couch. Me not being able to sit still long enough to even register what we are watching because the baby has decided to pull her self up on the tree, thereby knocking it over.
My Vision:
Putting on Christmas music, drinking hot chocolate and putting up the Christmas decorations as a family.
Reality:
Kids upset because they want to hear "Gangnam Style". Older child deciding that plyers are necessary to hold the lights while handing them to mommy, breaking the glass bulb in the process. Middle child crying because she burned her tongue on the hot chocolate. Baby eating the glass from the aforementioned broken bulb. Husband who doesn't give a rat's ass about Christmas decorations--he just wants his dinner.
My Vision:
My family and I braving the cold to head out to the mall, do some shopping, perhaps run into people we know then go out to a nice family dinner at a restaurant.
Reality:
Baby screaming almost the entire time because she is hungry/irritable/ bored. Middle child running away and into a store with breakable objects, Older child stealing a newspaper from said store because he knows "Mommy likes to read the paper" 30 min wait at the resturaunt with hyper, hungry grouchy kids.
My Vision:
Listening to Christmas music and spending some fun time with the kids baking cookies, or putting together gingerbread houses...
Reality:
Older two fighting over who gets to pour the flour and who gets to stir. Middle child sneezing into the dough. Older child deciding baking takes too long and "Is too hard" Baby fussing beacuse she wants to get in there and does not want to sit in the high chair watching all the action. Husband who eats the cookies right out of the oven then complains about his sore tongue. Kids bugging to hear "Gangnam Style" instead of Christmas carols.
"The Most Wonderful Time of The Year"? I think not. If Andy Williams were still alive I would punch him right in the face. And no Burl Ives, I will not have a "Holly Jolly Christmas." Go F@*$# yourself.
Bah Humbug.
